You know you're an SM in Egypt when...

• it doesn't take conscious effort to remember to put the toilet paper in the garbage can.
• you don't hesitate to use pieces of the cardboard roll as toilet paper for a few weeks because you're out and too cheap to buy more.
• you're used to doorknobs not turning.
• you sneak awkward side hugs to the guy SMs in the staff room or at Pastor Tom's house because it's socially unacceptable and you are bad to the bone.
• you can fall asleep on a typical minibus ride where the driver is blasting his music and driving in a way that throws you all over the bus.
• you wear the same clothes every day, but it's okay because everyone else does too.
• you wake up in the middle of the night because your face and hands itch so much.
• your legs are so bitten that anyone back home would think that you contracted smallpox.
• your sheets are blood-stained from your mosquito bites, but that doesn't really phase you.
• you commit a cultural taboo by lifting up your pants to scratch your knees.
• you can pronounce the names Mamdouh, Shenouda, Mahrous, Kout, Mekebeb, Nyadeat, Nyakoun, and Abanoub.
• the names Mamdouh, Shenouda, Mahrous, Kout, Mekebeb, Nyadeat, Nyakoun, and Abanoub become normal to you.
• you don't bust into laughter or offend someone by calling him "Fady," "Moody," or "Tut" (Toot).
• you get angry when there's no gibna (white cheese) at dinner.
• halawa doesn't seem quit so bad, and guavas really don't taste like garbage.
• you embrace the white hotdog bun breakfast every Sabbath morning.
• the required staff meeting has four staff members at it.
• you dump syrup on a cake and call it basbussa.
• you find fingernails in your "macaroni"... multiple times.
• you're not phased by mosquitoes in your hot chocolate.
• oil is a condiment... of which there is never enough.
• you have to have a babysitter to step out of the compound because for the risk of creepy men on the prowl for "mozas."
• you know every single way to express that someone is beautiful in Arabic because your students have called you them.
• it's almost normal to see someone hacking at a donkey's head with a machette.
• a man on the street offers you a half-peeled orange or a camel's leg (knee to hoof) because you're beautiful.
• you can differentiate Arabic songs.
• you're in the habit of not making eye contact and keeping your voice low while on the streets.
• you get your butt grazed on a regular basis, knowing full well that a student would rip of his belt without hesitation had he known what happened.
• random stragers pull you into their homes, name their babies after you, and ask you to marry their sons.
• you've gotten multiple proposals from people, some of which you've never met.
• people you've never met have "fallen in love with your character."
• a three ounce box is too heavy for you to carry and must be given to a man.
• you can't even step out of the classroom with your things without a chivalrous student carrying everything for you.
• you begin to hoard pens because people steal them... and you're part of the problem.
• there are five ninth graders named Deng, and four of them are named Deng Deng.
• sixty degrees is FREEZING!
• Thursday night is the new Saturday night.
• cows make the sound "bitnarrrrr."
• your idea of being scandalous is even considering hanging up your laundry in shorts.
• a man on the metro throws shells of seeds at your feet.
• your school has a rule that girls aren't allowed to faint.
• people gossip about your messy room.
• you have a student who has a tattoo with his name spelled wrong.
• your bread has betles, wood, sawdust, sand, rocks, mysterious brown things, or all of the above in it.
• there are fleas in your bed.
• you drink from the same community cup in the center of campus as everyone else.
• one click means "yes," and two clicks means "no."
• you think you're waving and someone thinks you're calling him over to you.
• flip flops are "ship ships."
• sizes are described by putting your hand against your opposite arm, rather than creating the distance between your two hands in the air.
• snow globes don't look as tacky as they once used to.
• the HoHos are flat.
• tea is a staff meeting essential.
• students spell their names differently on each assignment.
• you give incredibly awkward hugs because you're no longer in the practice of giving them.
• you can go all day without drinking water because it's 1/4 mile walk to refill the jug.
• when a 40 minute taxi ride takes 2.5 hours because people can't admit when they don't know where something is, so they just point and hope that it's the right direction... all for the sake of saving face.
• every main character dies at the end of every popular movie.
• everyone has a pack of kleenex on them at all times.
• telling a student that another student's grade is not their business is considered giving giving someone capsa (public embarrassment).
• "not your father's business" is an insult.
• being known as the son/daughter of your mother is an insult.
• a sousand beoble come ub to you on Friday night and say, "Habby Sabbas."
• students are curious about their last test score and ask where their "testes" are.