Parts of My Journal

Tuesday, November 17, 2009 11:59 pm - in the mosquito net (I guess "under it") on my bed

Today at dinner, Jessica leaned toward me and said, "Why am I eating jelly and cheese with a spoon? Because I am in Egypt." I laughed so hard. I'm no longer "healthy Sara." My standards have gone so far down.

Michael can frown better than anyone I know. It is so funny. I really like him. He is such a nice guy. He also offered to help me grade some of my papers sometime.

Girls can't lay down in front of guys, even their dads. Girls should say "ya ma'alim," according to ___. Girls aren't actually people, so they should probably be beaten and knocked around and harrassed.

We're watching "The Ultimate Gift" in my 9th grade classes. It's cute and they like it. It's a nice break for me too. :)

Thursday, November 19, 2009 10:02pm - on the new couch at the Decker's house!

_______ just came here to talk to me. Poor thing. She talked to me once before. It's totally different from how she appears. She's so frivolous and sanguine, but she is so depressed... She was sobbing and telling me about how she's so bad and wants to die. She was crying in my arms on the balcony of the girls dorm. So tonight, she came looking for me because she was so lonely. She feels like people don't really love her. I told her how much God loves her and wants to hug her and help her up when she falls. She told me that I'm the only one here who encourages her. She said I'm like her little sister. Little sister? Really? Haha, Oh Lord, I don't feel passionate enough. I don't feel like I'm praying enough. She's slipping and she hates herself, and I'm not constantly begging for God's presence. Oh little _______. She cried into my neck and hugged me. I loved it because I felt like I was there for her. It was so sincere.

November 23, 2009 12:34 am - on my bed

alashan ana shooftuk - because I see you
hhazeena - sad
ala fikra - I think

Dry crusty feet and legs. Ew. I feel so fat too. I always say this, but I need to start exercising hardcore.

Funniest thing: I was joking out by the ping pong table and saying that Abanoub can't be trusted. Michael agreed and said something like, "Yeah, he can't be trusted." In his victim voice Abanoub asked, "But why?" Michael said, "Because you have a tattoo on your palm!" Haha! What kind of person gets a tattoo on their palm.

I read 2 Corinthians 12 today, and I had been so annoyed and frustrated with 2 Corinthians because it was boring and hard to follow. But this I could concentrate on, and I cried. I feel like I understand, "My grace is sufficient for you for My power is made perfect in weakness." It's not just being poor or having diseases that could be thorns in your flesh, but your character as well. I though, "God, change me! Change my mind! Why ... Take it away! Change me." I am still the same person, and I will probably always struggle with the same things, but I can still overcome because my weakness exemplifies God's power. I got a fuller understanding of it that I can't quite articulate.

I talked about pride today as a worship though in all of my classes. I felt very good about it. I talked about how we always have excuses, as did Adam and Eve, but that doesn't justify sin. And if we can't admit when we are wrong, God can't work with us. Satan fell from Heaven because of his pride, and Jesus was killed because the people were too proud to admit that they were wrong. I asked, "When is the last time that you told someone that you were truly sorry about something without making excuses?" "I'm sorry. I was wrong." If you can't think of a time, you really need to watch yourself.

Dominique is so funny. I try not to laugh at him because he's usually hitting on me subtly in corny ways (but not enough to call him out on it), but he's so funny. I love Gonjowk in 10th grade. He is so sweet. I want Benjamin James to do really well because he tries so hard.

Gladys shared her testimony Friday night, and I wanted to cry. She's such an ENFJ/INFJ and I love her. She made a decision to love the unlovables. It was so good. It convicted me that I really need to have a perfect husband. God must lead. I wanted to cry for ____. It has to be able to be better than that. Oh Lord, please be with them.

Thursday, Nov. 26, 2009 6:05 pm - kneeling on the floor, writing on the bed

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! I am so full I could throw up. We ate Mexican food at the Deckers'. It was so good. Black beans, pinto beans, flautas, mashed potatoes... We then started to watch "The Polar Express," and the boy was all distraught about whether or not there was a Santa, so he ran to the bookshelf and started flipping through a book. Chim said, "Calm down, Sara Olakowski." I laughed so hard. I was flattered.

We played football today. :)

Friday, Dec. 4, 2009 10:25 am - in my place on the steps outside the church

Oh, before I forget to write about it: I gave a worship thought on "Character is who you are in the dark," DURING PRAYER (name) tried to sneak up to my desk to take (name 2)'s homework to copy it because (name) didn't do his. Are you kidding? I was awestruck.

December 14, 2009 1:32 am - on my bed

I just got tangled in the mosquito net trying to get in here. I love Krista. We laugh so much together. We just tried on our tackiest gallabeas (mine has music notes and says "Illinois" on it...) and we took pictures with Jessica while she was sleeping...

The tenth graders are getting really into Night. We have two pages left. The room is dead silent while I read. Thanks, God.

Today was a hard day for me. The cheating is incessant. The lying is just as bad. I was worn out and exhausted from arguing about their punishments. I show them mercy, and I should have shown more. Really?

I wish I could teach 9th grade Bible next semester. Oh, what I would do for that!

Oh! Krista was explaining "explosion" to (name), and she mentioned Hiroshim. He said, "Yeah, and that's why their eyes go like this!" and he pulled down on the corners of his eyes. Haha! Krista said, "No. You're black, I'm white, and their eyes do that. It's the same thing."

December 24, 2009 8:54 pm - Pastor Llew's house

"I am evermore standing on the precipice of who I am and who I could be." -Alec
(name) said to Alec, "Is it scientifically proven that when women get married, they get fat?"
(name2) told Alec that he wouldn't want to go to America because people have sex in the streets.
(name3), in a paragraph about his future, wrote that he wanted to marry a "beautiful woman or a rich man." Every time I looked at him that day in class, I started laughing.
(name4) "changed his brain" and decided to pass the ball instead of shoot it.

Shagia's lines: "So what?" "So what shall I do?" "Don't." "Don't even think about it." "You're gonna lose your life." I love Shagia. haha.

Jessica told me that the word for want and the word for need is the same in Arabic. There is no difference. That's scary.