I am cayada. God's love is deep.

On Sunday night I walked back to my house and saw two students there who come and ask for help sometimes. I did not have the time to help them then and didn’t feel like telling them I couldn’t. But this time they didn’t want help. One is a boy in ESL named Ashraf. His English is pretty poor for his class. He was a day student earlier, and I think he was just overwhelmed and didn’t try. He then moved into the dorm and seems happier and more motivated. I’d started tutoring him during study hall every once in a while—oh his English was SO bad. He knew next to nothing. He has been showing improvement though, so I’m glad that he’s not completely in over his head. Anyway, Ashraf had a bag in his hand and had Sameh translate for him. Ashraf said that he had been very discouraged and wanted to leave NUA, but then I talked to him and helped him and he felt encouraged because he knows he has a sister here. He gave me the bag, and in it was a little statue of St. George holding a lamb. Different. But really sweet. Sameh had asked for my picture a while ago—I wasn’t sure for what. But on Sunday night he gave me a black mug. He told me to boil water, so I did. When I poured it in the mug, my picture appeared on the side of it. It was really sweet for him to go out of his way like that. He was really proud of it too. He is very good, but I have to pray for patience with him sometimes.

I had a good conversation with a tenth grader named Mina yesterday. Last week he had brought up the idea Heaven will be boring. I’ve explained to him that all his mind can wrap around is what he knows here and now, but he has absolutely no concept of Heaven. From there we started talking about hellfire and how long it lasts. And I showed him several verses and explained that eternal suffering is still eternal life and that it’s the punishment that lasts forever, but not the suffering. We jumped around to different topics and questions that he’s never found satisfactory answers to. I was really thankful for the wrestling with God and the Bible that I went through in high school because now I feel much more capable and comfortable answering difficult questions. I feel prepared and I wouldn’t be if I didn’t have to struggle myself. But beyond the moderate satisfaction he got to his answers, I realized that he falls in the same category as so many people in the world. They believe they are always messing up, which means they’re constantly letting God down. They know that God “loves” them, but it is different than any other relationship they have, so “love” is kind of undefined. They believe they’re going to be lost anyway, so they just accept it and enjoy their lives here and now. I told him of God’s incredible love for him—in the most realistic way I could express it—and I told him what grace means and how he cannot do anything to make God love him any more or less. Even the “good” people are not righteous enough for God’s standards, but that’s okay because Jesus’ blood covers us. Humdolillah. One of the other boys that’s a lot like him, Mavdy, came over and listened and then asked some questions. I was so thankful that he was there. There are many of these guys here that are free thinkers, very quick thinkers, somewhat naturally rebellious, and really enjoy their friends. They do tend to get in more trouble, but they’re good guys. Personality Dimensions-wise, they’re pretty green-orange or orange-green (NT & SP for Myers-Briggs). But they’re so good. And I really appreciate them. And because of their natural bucking against authority, they feel like God must also be disappointed and annoyed with them too. Doignadsiofn! (“For You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful; I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13,14 BOOM!) I told Mina to come to me when he has questions, and he seemed pleased with that. Humdolillah. I’m thankful to be here.

I’ve been pretty excited about my junior and senior Bible classes. There is no subject I’d rather teach than Bible. We just went through a good study about what the Bible says about dancing because they had questions about it, especially in regard to the school’s policy. I feel like I helped them to feel empowered, hopefully like they could study things on their own. Or maybe know how to go about studying things. After break, we’re getting into talking about marriage. I feel like Mrs. Peterson, my own high school bible teacher. I was talking to some girls tonight, and they mentioned something about a man hitting a woman. I seemed to give off a strong opinion, and that sparked a conversation. They said that it’s so easy and common for a man to hit his wife, especially in Upper Egypt. When he does that, it kind of asserts his authority and makes him like a man. I said that God gave him a bigger body and stronger muscles to do good—to protect her—not to use them against her. And if he isn’t responsible enough to be a man, he should probably lose his man parts… But that would mean just about all of their dads would be eunuchs. One of the girls was saying that a man will hit his wife so hard that she’ll fall to the ground—and I am sure she is speaking from her own family experiences. Then the girls started talking about how you can’t trust men because they act one way, and then when they get married they become completely different people. Saeda said that her aunt was engaged to someone who had said that she wouldn’t have to wear this big black thing (the Christian equivalent of Muslim-woman clothes, where instead of putting it on your head, you have to hold it over you and hold open a small slit in the front to see through). After they got married he started hitting her and insisted that she wore the black thing. I am going to be teaching them very much in depth about red flags in dating and about domestic violence. The girls were so pleased with America when they learned that a person can be sent to jail for hitting his wife. Saeda said that a guy here at the school hit his girlfriend, and the girlfriend just accepted it. Saeda said that if that is happening when they’re only dating, it will get much worse in marriage—I was very proud of her insight. I pray that these precious girls would be physically safe in the future and that the guys that they end up with would treat them well. They’re so sweet. And I pray that the guys would be self-aware enough to recognize where their anger is coming from and how to go about handling it. These guys are good. There is a lot of aggression—it’s a very aggressive culture in general—but I know many of the guys very deeply. And I believe that if the students are taught good things, they can improve much. The same goes for raising kids. I believe that most parents have good intentions. Many of them just don’t know how to go about doing things—or they have never seen a good example, so they’re doing the best for what they know. I’m very much looking forward to teaching them what to look for in a person—good things and red flags, fundamental differences between men and women, and principles for raising children. “Nanny 911” is my favorite show, so I’m going to use clips from that show to illustrate my points. May God give them wisdom and guidance.

There is a word in Arabic called “cayad” (or “cayada” for females), and it describes someone who like to make people angry. Said in anger, it is an insult. Otherwise it’s okay. I really really enjoy being cayada. I am not exactly sure why, but I get so much pleasure from being intentionally irritating or difficult. A friend told me on skype the other night, “I was thinking the other day, you’re the closest thing to a bully I’ve ever had.” I don’t know why I am so proud of that. Anyway, now you understand cayada.

I’m learning more Arabic. I’m trying to be intentional about it. I can understand more than last time, so I’m happy about that. I’ve also been better at putting sentences together. Yesterday the senior class president, Peter (who was one of my good friends when I was here last time) made an announcement in Arabic to the seniors about how they’re going to play the staff in volleyball and to wear red. When he was finished, I went up to him and said in a cayada voice, “I am going to wear aHmar (red) tomorrow.” “Ya miss, no.” “Yes. I am going to wear aHmar. All the staff will wear aHmar.” “No, you cannot!” And I just beamed at him. We played a couple hours ago. Both teams were wearing “aHmar.” They all just left for home leave. There is a Muslim feast on Friday where they slaughter tons and tons of animals—beautiful sight—and school is cancelled then and for the next week. We’re going to see some stuff around Cairo, and then next week I am going with some others to visit students in Zewak and Tatalaya (near Asyut, for those of you familiar with Egyptian geography). I am really looking forward to it. I pray that the students would all be safe. We take praying for traveling mercies very seriously ever since the microbus accident two years ago.

Love you all.